With my Dad, Warren Manshel, on the beach


WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT ME

- Liane Weintraub, Editor-in-Chief

If my dad were still alive, he’d be in his 80s, so he was a good deal older that most of my friends’ dads.  But he was the wisest dad I ever heard of.  He died when I was 21.
 
My father came from a generation in which most women did not receive educations.  They rarely worked – unless absolutely necessary to their survival or due to war-time – and if they did, that work was likely to be relatively unchallenging.  A female’s aspirations were supposed to be focused on whom they married.  Girls were to be seen and not heard.
 
From as early as I can remember, my dad instilled in me the exact opposite lessons.  He told me that the most precious thing he could ever give me was an education – in fact, he promised to pay for all my schooling, “as far as I chose to go.”  I went all the way through graduate school.  He also taught me that there was nothing I couldn’t do if I was willing to work hard enough to make it happen.  He flat-out rejected the notion that there were “girl jobs” and “boy jobs,” and encouraged me to pursue any field I wanted.  And most importantly, he always wanted me to be both seen and heard.  “Always have an opinion,” he would say, “but be prepared to defend it!”

My parents, Anita and Warren, circa 1980
 
We were very much alike, my father and I.  That made for remarkable compatibility most of the time, and for some pretty spectacular fireworks at other times.  After my mother died when I was 16, I became my dad’s companion and confidant – an equal and a friend.  But I was as hard-headed as he was, and sometimes we clashed.  He had raised me to speak my mind and to “stick to my guns,” so I suppose it came as little surprise when I stood up to him.
 
The mantra he constantly repeated to me and my brother was “keep your options open.”  That meant, learn everything.  Pursue all opportunities.  Never close doors when you don’t have to.  I took his philosophy to heart and studied a wide array of subjects and traveled a great deal.  I met all kinds of people and worked in several different fields.  All of my adventures – a few of them mishaps – have made me the person I am today, and for that I am deeply grateful.
 
My hope is that as a mother I will pass on the same invaluable wisdom to my children.  It’s wonderful that their world is a very different place than my dad’s was, so there are fewer obstacles for them to overcome in terms of what is “appropriate.”  On the other hand, their future holds some very distinct challenges and I can only imagine the tribulations I ought to prepare them to face.  My ardent hope is that they’ll prevail, armed with the lessons my father taught me – thinking for themselves, keeping their options open and always having an opinion.

My parents in 1960's attire, before I was born